Well the unthinkable has happened…(pause for dramatization) Joey has been kicked off the Real World. Ok, so maybe your not surprised about the alcoholic party animal missing shifts at work and thus getting booted from the show. What you may be surprised about is, that episode will be considered the finale by yours truly. Joey was the bread and butter of that show this season, what is there to see now??
Things most likely to happen without Joey (besides lower ratings):
1. CJ will take his shirt off…not my thing.
2. Derek will make out with men…again not my thing.
3. Jonna will “cuddle” with men not named Matt, and not understand what is wrong with it.
4. Jasmine will struggle getting laid in CANCUN MEXICO….go to a donkey show or something.
5. Ayiiia will continue to be worthless. ( Jesus who lets her cut fruit)
6. Emily will think about days of old at Hooters.
7. Bronne a.k.a the 2nd best character on the show will probably seek out cougars that resemble Sharon Osbourne. He is the last hope that this season isn’t a bust…
With that being said there is very little that could keep me motivated to turn on MTV to watch another episode of Real World this season. When I see the reminder pop up on the TV, it’s going to be like going to the kitchen for a sandwich and having no bread…Now that I’ve blown my nose and ate some ice cream (my comfort food) it’s time to put it all behind me and move onto something that is equally as painful but twice as addictive. SPORTS.
Because I like torture I decided to tune into the NASCAR race at Pocono on Monday. I know what your thinking, I said sports…but on a Sunday afternoon when football isn’t being played what else am I supposed to do? In this particular case the race was rained out and pushed to Monday. I would comment on the fact that less people probably attended but the reality is that the demographic for a NASCAR audience is unemployed white males with or without a stint in prison for domestic abuse under their belt (which is under their stomach). Normally I wouldn’t do this “activity” any justice with a column but one particular event caught my eye. A driver by the name of Robby Gordon got spun out by David Stremme, the audio is quickly tuned into Robby’s radio when he says, “You can talk to NASCAR or whatever but I’m putting him in the wall for that.” From that point on my eyes are glued to the TV set. So however many laps later Gordon goes by the guy and I’m disappointed…but then out of nowhere Stremme spins him out again! Gordon was made a fool of not once but twice. For like 20 minutes I became a NASCAR fan. Then the unthinkable happened. NASCAR penalizes both drivers like 5 laps or some crap. It was then that I awoke from my NASCAR high and remembered why it sucks. Gordon got his milk money stolen and literally drove away…grow a pair Robby. ---Trashed
I’m going to make it my civil duty to tune into actual sporting events for the next few weeks and write a knowledgeable entry. In the mean time check out this fantastic video of Tiger’s Caddy…
